The Boss

My lateness for work is beginning to get noticed, so far I have managed to sneak in without my hitler boss noticing for about 3 months now - which is pretty amazing as I have only been here for 3 months and with my past jobs they always took me aside after about 2 weeks.
So there I was out of breath and reeking of smoke attempting to pretend I had been here since 9 when she marches out of her little office and announces the new regime, staring directly at me 'we have a new system - clocking in and out cards as it has come to my attention that certain employees are arriving late and leaving early' turning on her hideous doc martins (I think there doc martins though personally I have seen many a nice pairs of them over the years but those look like they have come straight from the army barracks).How dare she stare at me for the duration of that little power speech! just because some of us have a life and do not live and breath that stupid office, it's telecommunications for god sake not MI5.
Finally logging into my facebook after what seemed like an eternity of a power speech from 'The boss' I am now free to moan about her and this crap job to everyone without any chance of her hearing me ( I learnt that after I realised that yes she can some how listen in on your phone calls and that is probably where this war of hate towards me began) that is until I feel a cold hand on my shoulder - o.k her hand probably wasn't that cold but you get more of the effect of her unhumaness with that, But there she was suddenly appearing behind me out of nowhere - normally you hear when someone is walking up behind you especially with the weight of them boots she had on her feet.'Err that is not work is it' she said with her stale coffee breath into my face being able to read everything I had just wrote about her.
Frantically clicking the X button like there was no tomorrow and with the computer not responding and frozen on my facebook page,panic sets in as this is giving her more time to read everything, swinging my chair round to face her 'I'm planning on going to Germany which is the best place to holiday in?' Aaha i have won and completely thrown her off track, she is now happily smiling whist her mind reminisces back to her home country, 'I have some pictures in my office you must come and see them at lunch' and with that she marched of happy!
As this god awful day went on I went and took sanctuary on the fire escape with Laura from accounts, the pair of us sitting and smoking luckily my quick thinking had put me back in her good books and off her hate list well at least for today!
What makes my boss interesting is the fact that when I started at this mind numbingly boring job my boss gave me the impression that she was one of those shy timid women and I liked her, I see know that it was all fake!!!
She wanted me to like her, to tell her stuff that she could then use against me but luckily for me I am no Bimbo and I was on to her - it may have taken me a month to suss her out but I did!