Friday, February 20, 2009

The Burning Of The Glad Rags......

It has been so long so since I last blogged! The past week has gone by in something of a blur!

I have since burned that suit just so I never have to wear it ever again, don't worry I was not going all feminist on you there although I do like to think of myself as a modern day feminist, but one of my downstairs neighbours was having a bonfire and the sight of the roaring flames destroying whatever it was they were trying setting alight, I took it upon myself with the aid of my friend to join them so with a bottle of wine (for sophistication) we popped downstairs suddenly just realised the ‘we popped downstairs’, we! When the hell did we become a we? Over the past few weeks I have noticed she is at mine quite a lot and now I am referring to us as a we! My god can it get any worse!

So there WE were me and my outrageously drunk buddy – you can always a tell a when someone has a problem with drink especially when they can pretend to be sober in front of strangers! So as I was saying there we were bottle of wine in hand all smiles with the grey suit knotted in a bag. Luckily for me I have very lovely neighbours who thought this was a great occasion to get to know us, watching my buddy propped up against the wall I suddenly realise that as each day goes by she is starting to not only remind me but actually beginning to resemble Patsy Stone (absolutely fabulous) as comical as this is to me I thought I would save that comment until she had at least one eye open so she could laugh until she wet herself and then pass out (her usual party trick) but then not have recollection of the next day!

As the night went on it was great, even Doris made an appearance though we barley spoke and she stood watching me from the corner with her little perfect sighted beedie eyes but thank god she did not come with food, As everyone began to throw stuff on the bonfire I realised it was now my one and only chance to get rid of that awful suit!

Ripping the bag open and suit in hand I swung my arm back so far and then let go for maximum leverage, it was at that exact moment when the suit was flying thru mid air and gravitating towards the fire the voice behind me ‘Isn’t that my suit?’, standing still and refusing to turn around my mind slowly begins to rewind back and then I remembered the night I had to carry her up my stairs with kebab-sick all over her – she had spent her cab money on a kebab so the only option was mine and she was in that suit!

Looking back at my confused friend and smiling so hard my cheeks hurt ‘No that’s not your suit, do you not remember that one from next? Got it in the sale?’, She stood swaying slightly from side to side just blankly looking at me for what felt like an eternity until she said the words ‘oh yeah’ and trampled off towards one of my geriatric neighbours.


  1. I don't understand what happened! I posted a comment and it didn't show up. Basically I said I love your stories b/c they remind me of life as it used to be and that you describe your drunken friend really well! Let's see if it takes this time!

  2. I hope its working ana! this one did! thanks for your comment though!!