Friday, February 6, 2009

The Ex And the Wilder beast...

So there I was sitting ON MY OWN in the pub! full of melodrama and melancholy, If It had been a sunny day I don't think it would have been so bad, but it wasn't - the clouds had opened up and were chucking it down the sky was grey and the atmosphere was grim.
Sitting across from me was a mixture of Hagrid V Frank from Shamless and to top it off he was giving me the eye, well I think it was 'the eye' either that or he had something seriously wrong with his eye which is a possibly due to the fact that I could smell him from my seat and the thought of him coming any closer and breathing what I only can imagine as month long stale breath the more I write this the more he seems to be morphing into Fagin in my mind but at least that gives you a good idea of what my only prospect of a date was! Is this really the only type of man i can attract?
Earlier that day I had been going about my business with not a care in the world until I was stopped right in my tracks by dun dun dun...........THE EX, Yes the ex not only the ex but with his gorgeous new girlfriend - the new girlfriend that I had been dumped for! he claims not but I have my sources.
The sight of them waving at me from about 5 foot away turned my stomach as well as turning my face the same colour as my lovely new red dress from Topshop. Luckily for me I am famous for my terrible eye sight - at times like that I am thankful for this disability that God and my parents have bestowed upon me.
Pretending I had not seen them and taking the first turning I could find which led me straight into the dullest old man pub probably in the whole radius of London and that is how I came to find myself sitting opposite the unsightly wilder beast across the table.Drowning my sorrows and downing my vodka not actually for the reason you might think more just for myself and the fact that I am stuck in a dead end j0b whilst the ex struts along all happy with a good job and an actual good looking girlfriend.
Feeling his creepy eyes burning holes into my head I begin to contemplate my exit route but considering as there only seems to be 2 doors and one is the toilet that narrows my choices down. So there was he and there was me, still trying to avoid his crazy insane gaze I slowly grab my bag and make a quick exit without looking back the image of a man chasing me down the road until im stopped by the sound of heavy feet and heavy breathing and that hairy hand on my shoulder. Shaking that image out of my head and thinking where did it all go wrong???
I had dreams, aspirations even and now I work for a telesales company.................


  1. lmao I was on the edge of my seat reading this! Don't worry, you'll meet a great guy when you least suspect it or when you're not looking. Or maybe when you're taken. Things seem to happen that way lol.

  2. Screw the ex, act like you don't care. Ur dreams will come true when they are supposed to.