Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Comeback Queen

It has been sometime since my last blog:
1 break – up, 1 dodgy haircut, 1 mini - breakdown and 1 trip round Thailand to 'find myself' and here I am!!!

None the wiser in who I am - apart from the fact that I am fully aware that my hair reflects off the moon at nigh - you can see me a mile off!
All because of the luminous ginger mullet attached to my head!
I have nothing against gingers (Nicola Roberts from girls aloud is gorgeous) just to clarify I am not a gingeriest or anything like that. I once dated a ginger not that there any different from us (not that we are a collective we and gingers are not a part) just that I love gingers but not when you pay £120 for a new hairdo!!

It was sometime in June and the summer was just kicking off. I’d been living in some kind of parallel universe for the past few months with the bag man. Everything was going so well, the crazy Stalker had been fired and I actually had nothing to do with it, she was caught in an uncompromising position with brooms in the cleaner’s cupboard and my German boss. I always knew she was that way inclined ever since I saw those boots she called shoes. When a woman says shoes - dainty and feminine fill my mind not steel toe capped doctor martins! And yes this is with a suit.....

As I was saying the stalker was out of my life, Doris was still Doris but she didn’t seem to bother me as much anymore as watching her advances on bag man was entertainment enough for me. Life just seemed so perfect....

My vodka induced sleep where I would usually wake up and hour late for work with some kind of kebab stuck to my face or carrot in my hair looking like mix of Russell Brand + Amy Winehouse + Noel Fielding after a 12 day crack binge was well and truly over!!!
Surprisingly I hadn’t even noticed this happening but I shed no tear over this, as I distinctly remember this thought, as the moment I realised I was an adult! No longer a tax dodging drunk student trying to avoid reality for just a little bit longer!

With the biggest smile on my face and having a few minutes of a Disney moment -
There I am prancing around my front room with all the little birds and woodland animals all coming and helping me get dressed and signing with me!! Sleeping beauty? No, Snow white? No, Cinderella? It’s one of them!!
So you see life really was fantastic!

And then I checked my Facebook


  1. Like Your blog, looking forward to your next article.

  2. do u tend to exaggerate abit? genuine q. cz from dt old lady trying to kill u wiv peanuts and winkin im afriad her old lady days wud b over if dt was me . i wud kick her stereotypical walkin stick from beneath her n while she was a crumpled mess on the floor i wud warn her. as for stalker girl in ur bed it sounds all abit too like 'obessessed' film wiv beyonce in it. hmm i wudnt b laughin for a few weeks i wud b calling the police, crying or kickin her ass. not criticisms btw . im jus geuninely askin cz if ur nt exaggeratin u have a v crazy funny life. u shud have ur own show

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