Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Toilet Issues....

This week has been eventful!
Standing lacquering my lashes in the work toilet, not good when you have no cotton buds to wipe the black zebra lines above your eyes, but my eyes were look bare and tired so they were in desperate need of a lift.

I think going out to that coyote still bar may not have been my best idea, my last hazy memory is downing a line of tequila shots before being launched on top of that bar and dancing around like a La's Vegas show girl- In reality i know that i probably looked more like Amy winehouse in the clutches of downfall rather than a glamourous showgirl.
But any who waking up this morning with a kebab stuck to my face and having to quietly step over the few random scattered people laying across the floor in my flat - still not sure where they came from....

So there I am standing as close the mirror as possible that my boobs are actually resting on it, as yet again i forgot to put my contact lenses in, well i didn't forget - i put one in and then couldn't find the other so i just gave up after walking wonky with one eye open down my stairs.
So back to the toilets and my failed attempt to look alive and attractive, i was just casually minding my own business when SHE walked in.....
Just strolled on in, no words, no look, no smile just plain walking into the toilets. At the moment something hit me, some kind of light bulb turning on over my head or maybe a nudge from God himself but something clicked!

Kicking open the door all charlies angel style, OK it was more of a knock first then i pushed it because it wasn't locked, but there she was sitting on the loo - knickers round her ankles and bam! 'What the hell are you playing at Rochelle?' her face looked so innocent and i felt so harsh but being strong and mentally recalling all the crap she had pulled in the past, 'Well Rochell? turning up here at my work, pretending you ain't got a clue who i am, your a psycho, do you know that'!

I felt so brave and courageous almost like boudica, and then her face changed and her mouth started to move 'Look here, i do not what you are talking about, you have the wrong girl', and then she just kicked the door with her foot and carried on her wee.
Standing back in shock and wishing that someone else was there so i did not look so crazy looking around the room in confusion and waving my arms around....
Watching her wash hands and still in utter disbelief, i watch her step towards the door and as she turns to close the door 'You still with that bloke of yours?, I've had better anyway'
What a cheek!!!! but that was my proof that i am not going insane and that she really is the insane one here!


  1. Is this girl a complete nutcase? Can't you say something to your boss? x

  2. Wow, that's insane. I love drama. I'm hooked to your blog now! lol

  3. when u gna update?