Suits, Cigarettes and Coffee...

My arrival back at work with the mother of all accidental hangovers - my 'wonderful friend' had forced me into drinking games to pass my time off work her motto being that 'drinking until you pass out ensures a great nights sleep' - sleep being my only time to rest!
Staggering across my bedroom floor and falling flat on my face - she obviously thought that creating a bed for herself amongst my clothes would be a good option and the fact that my only pair of tights without a ladder where underneath her.
So despite waking up and nearly cracking my head open on my floor which in a weird way seemed to knock half of my hangover out, which is always a plus!
My attempts to get my tights from underneath this unconcious lush was going to be very difficult and she looked so peaceful her hair all back combed into some kind of dreadlock state, her black mascara smudged across her cheeks and the sweet smell of alcohol surrounded her like a blanket after staring at her for quite a while willing her in my mind to move I came to realise that she looked like a very pretty clown with her red lips all over the place!
After careful consideration and the fact that she wern't moving or even flinching even when I shouted 'FIRE' - I really had to re -think my outfit of I've had time off work I really was ill outfit!

I literally delved into my wardrobe and just threw on what probably is the most worst outfit I have ever worn in my whole entire life - probably not whole life as the hanious memories of my teenage years come flooding back in some alwful outfits as if my own memories were tauting me! but this one was defiently the worst in my adult life so far.
The mixture of trouser and shirt (I never wear anything like this and I actually have no recollection of even buying these clothes but I looked that bad that I will not even begin to describe it) it was as almost as though God was looking down on me and punishing me for something I had done.
So there I was my usual 5 minutes to get into work cigarette propped in my mouth and coffee in one hand and only just walking out of the car park,

Note to self and anybody is who is reading this:

1.Never run whilst smoking
2.Never run whilst holding Coffee
3.Never run whilst attempting to drink Coffee
4.And never run whilst trying to drink and smoke at the same time

So not only was I late again (I am actually bored of hearing the tutting of 'the boss's voice behind me when I try to sneak in unnoticed), but I had now spilt coffee all over my diguisting grey suit (I never thought I would ever have to write that sentance)but the ash from my cigarette had stuck to the wet Coffee stains my clever idea of wiping it with tissue made it worse and left me covered in tissue bits so not only was I late, I was covered in Coffee, Ash, Tissue and to top it all off I was wearing that oufit...